Sitting In The Tub Of Luxury


From Durhl Caussey archives

The day had been long and the night promised a cold, blanket darkness. Because of the numerous small crises and approaching signs of a terrible headache, I decided to fill my tub with hot water, and bask in bubbles.

Surrounded by flickering candles, as my ears were treated to sounds of wonderful classical music, I sat covered and aglow with liquid luxury.

The jet-forced water churned and agitated around my troubled limbs and aching neck. Wetness lapped my chin, as my bubble-laden hand reached for a glass of crystal ice tea.

The phone rang, disturbing the silhouetted ambiance, and crashed through my moments of reflective thoughts.

Mother Calling

“Hello Son, it is Mother.”

“How are you doing, Mother?”

“I’m doing fine, but Son, you sound like you’ve been sleeping in a well.”

“No, I’m just taking a hot bubble bath, surrounded by several scented candles.”

“You are sitting in bubble water with a bunch of candles! Did your power go out? Was there a storm?”

“No Mom, I’m just taking a bubble bath, with the lights out, listening to Chopin on the stereo.”

Mother Confused By Bubbles

I could hear Mom cover the phone receiver and say to her roommate, “Mabel, my son’s making bubbles in the dark, and someone named Clothes Pin is playing a banjo near some candles.”

“Good Lord Pearl, he seemed like such a good boy,” said Mabel.

“Mother, Mother, listen! I’m just relaxing after a hard day. And I’m not feeling well, so I’m relaxing, drinking a cold beverage.”

Again I could heard Mom cup the receiver and then say, “Mabel, he and that fellar are in the tub together drinking and Durhl’s getting sick.”

“Mother, Mother!”

“Son, why don’t you get that fellar to leave, so we can have a talk? Honey, Mother is worried about you. Why don’t you find some nice girl that can sew, cook, and keep a clean house, and settle down? Give up that wild life. I know you aren’t eating enough or getting enough sleep.”

“Mom, I’m fine, really”

Mother’s Remedy For Bubbles

“Well, you need a dose of salt to take care of those bubbles, and Mable’s got a niece that I want you to meet.”

“Mother, are you wearing your hearing aid?”

“No, I don’t need it over the phone. Besides, I can hear perfectly well without it.”


“Well son, guess I’d better let you go. Now get up out of that water, blow out those candles, and go to bed. And remember, we are judged by the company we keep.”

For a moment there was complete silence, as my mother again covered the phone.

“By the way Son, Mabel has heard of that Clothes Pin fellar and says he is no good. There had been a lot of talk here at the home about him and it’s all bad. Anyway, I love you and Mabel said to say ‘hello’.”

“Good Bye, Mom”

“Good Bye, Son, and don’t forget about Mabel’s niece.”

Sitting there in my lukewarm water, awash in fading bubbles, only added to the discouragement that hung on the smell of strawberry candles.

Mother was right about one thing. That Clothes Pin fellow had to go.

Durhl Caussey writes a column read coast to coast. He may be reached at this paper or